The most common complaint that I have personally heard from the women themselves is that women's shelter workers are prone to make any promise on earth in order to get what they want from a woman who shows up at their door - the filing of a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) against a man - but are less than diligent in fulfilling those promises.
Charlotte simply asked for a place to stay for a few days while she contemplated her next step - and her next step might have been to return to her husband, whom she was experiencing conflict with, but who had not hurt her in any way. She was told that she had to file a DVPO against her husband within 24 hours or she would have to leave. As the worker searched for something - anything - that Charlotte's husband had done wrong that could sustain a DVPO, she asked "Has he ever grabbed you?" Charlotte admitted that she remembered once he grabbed her wrist when she started to walk away from him. The DVPO was filed on that basis, and Charlotte was told that she would have at least 30 days to vacate.
When the DVPO was not continued in court (i.e., there was a finding of no civil liability for grabbing a wrist), Charlotte was again given 24 hours to leave. That was a mere 10 days after the filing of the DVPO.
Victoria was promised that she could file a DVPO but that "we will not file charges against your husband." When she asked if that meant no charges would be filed, the shelter worker told her, "You are the victim. Nothing can be done without your cooperation." Of course, days later the District Attorney filed criminal charges against her husband. Victoria was not told, of course, that neither the "victim" nor the women's shelter has control of when criminal charges are filed. Victoria was then left to defend spurious charges that she had invented in order to get "help," and had to leave the state to avoid having to perjure herself in a criminal court.
Time and again, women complain that women's shelter workers and police promise them that if they will file a DVPO, "the system" will always be there to help them. Other than an open door to continue attending "counseling meetings" or "community meetings," there really is no continuing assistance that is rendered beyond the DVPO hearing. This makes sense, since women's shelters are largely funded (at the federal level) based on the number of DVPO complaints that are filed annually. It is simply not cost-efficient to function as a long-term babysitter to women and children whose lives have experienced havoc at the hands of the Domestic Violence Industry. Increases in federal funding only occur when "domestic violence" is shown to be an out of control problem in the community in which the shelter is housed - and this is proven primarily by an escalating number of DVPO filings each year.
Angie said, "I have made a full-time job out of trying to get child support from my ex-husband. They promised that if I filed an order against him, they would always be there to help me and my children, but nobody cares. I pay lawyers and they don't care either. I feel like I was manipulated. I wish I had just separated and seen if he [my ex-husband] could change, but they don't give you any option except filing an order. If I had to do it over again, I would not have gone to the community meetings."
Amy P. said, "They didn't care anything about me and my kids. Here I was with four kids and trying to just get some space to think. When I said I wouldn't file an order, they moved on to the next 'client.'"
But being lied and treated with smug indifference is likely to be the very least of your troubles at a women's shelter.
* A 26-year old shelter worker had sex with a 12-year old boy on a playground in Arizona.
* Young boys become the whipping boys of the man-hating shelter workers, and adolescent males are often denied admission at all.
* In successive weeks at one Florida "SafeSpace" Shelter, a child was negligently killed by a car and a pregnant resident was stabbed to death by another resident.
* At a different Florida shelter, the shelter director was charged with giving alcohol to minors and the driver of the shelter van failed a sobriety test.
* Sexual abuse of children is a common occurrence in some shelters.
* Drug consumption is common in women's shelters.
* Teenagers and other adults are sometimes forcibly "volunteered" to women's shelters to work off community service time. These folks may be watching your kids.
* Lesbian shelter workers have been known to "cruise" women's shelters for companionship.
In fact, one letter, reproduced by Carey Roberts, Ph.D., states (in part):
To: Health and Human Services, United Way of the National Capitol Area, National Organization for Women, Feminist Majority, et alia,I have been a volunteer worker at Bethany House of Northern Virginia, 5901 Leesburg Pike, Falls Church, Virginia, a private non-profit so called battered women's shelter. I wish to remain anonymous for fear of personal and professional reprisals by my co-workers and the Bethany House staff.
In my experience working at the shelter I am appalled and outraged by what is really going on at Bethany House of Northern Virginia (BHNV). To put it bluntly, it is for most part nothing more than a "one stop divorce shop for emotional and bored housewives who want a change of life".
It is also largely used as a free hostel for women with emotional problems if they are willing to hate their husbands enough and are willing to take out protective orders against their husbands. Women who follow BHNV's agenda are guaranteed residency at the shelter for up to 7 months. All of this in the name of a Battered Women's shelter is sickening to disgust.
From my observations, the goal of Bethany House is to get bored and emotional housewives to leave their marital home after infuriating them with a heavy dose of husband bashing, anti-male talk, patriarchy, and negative motivation. This is carefully planned and executed by the Bethany House staff and volunteers. Simple tasks as cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of children are explained to the housewives as abusive and demeaning tasks forced upon them by their spouses.
At one DV shelter, fewer than 15% of "clients" showed any signs of physical abuse. Many DV shelters admit that they do not even consider whether there are any signs of physical abuse.
This is a chance for the victim advocate to evaluate their situation (we do NOT require proof of abuse) and determine if the Crisis Center is the right place for them. Our goal is to provide emergency shelter for victims in immediate need.
Note that those who apply to a "victim advocate" are "victims in immediate need" regardless of any "proof of abuse."
Be careful not to get on the wrong side of the shelter workers. If you appear to be a strong, confident woman, you may be denied entrance. And if you complain too much about a roommate, you and your infant may be released onto the streets with no further questions allowed.
Women's shelters will promise you safety, understanding, support, and sensitive care. How could they do anything else? After all, you are a "victim." But don't kid yourself. These are doctrinaire, manhating feminists in pursuit of federal funds who are going to forget you as soon as your free ride is up, if you make it that far, and may turn you out completely if you happen to not see the world the same way that they do.
You and your children stand a better chance of avoiding abuse living with that oaf of a husband you've got than spending even one night in a women's shelter. If the drug culture, lesbian culture, and child abuse don't sound appealing, maybe it is time to return to the strategies that your mom and grandma used for success in life.
Remember, they didn't have the "abuse excuse" to fall back on? So they just stayed put and worked on their marriages. Like you promised to do: "For better for worse, in sickness and in health."
For additional information, view a four-part video series on Women's Shelters at Opposing Feminism.
No comments:
Post a Comment