Trudy Schuett on Women's Shelters

Women's shelters "often make the divorce process seem simple, even desirable. They don’t tell prospective clients that divorce can be emotionally and financially devastating, and in the cases where there are children, drag on for years of acrimony with effects extending outward to other family members and friends. We’ve seen cases where fictional abuse, contrived for the purposes of leverage in court, became a reality. Relatively minor cases of abuse, which might have been addressed had other ways been available, have become violent and out of control.

Divorce is seldom any kind of solution to the problem. Still, it is the only one offered.

Other dubious “services” provided by shelters include a barrage of feminist propaganda...."

See Trudy Schuett's three-part series on so-called "Domestic Violence Shelters."

Attorney Admits Feminist Women's Shelters Feed Justice System its Ideology

See all four parts of this lecture at Opposing Feminism.

Tactics of Women's Shelters 4

We have discussed at length the anti-family, anti-society rationale behind the Domestic Violence Industry in America, and have shown that the trench warfare of the DV Industry is conducted largely from the local "women's shelter," "safe house," or "haven for abused women." We have discussed at length many of the tactics used in the openly-declared war conducted against men by these fortresses of injustice. But any war against the family, which modern feminism loathes, and society, which modern feminism wishes to remake, will necessary involve tactics of subversion and destruction against women and children as well. One does not have to look far to see that women's shelters exist primarily for political reasons, secondarily for the enrichment of those in charge of them, and only on the fringe for the women and children who are encouraged to frequent them. And this group on the fringe, the women and children, are, in fact, abused - but seldom by the men and fathers in their lives. Rather, more frequently by the Domestic Violence Industry itself.

The most common complaint that I have personally heard from the women themselves is that women's shelter workers are prone to make any promise on earth in order to get what they want from a woman who shows up at their door - the filing of a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) against a man - but are less than diligent in fulfilling those promises.

Charlotte simply asked for a place to stay for a few days while she contemplated her next step - and her next step might have been to return to her husband, whom she was experiencing conflict with, but who had not hurt her in any way. She was told that she had to file a DVPO against her husband within 24 hours or she would have to leave. As the worker searched for something - anything - that Charlotte's husband had done wrong that could sustain a DVPO, she asked "Has he ever grabbed you?" Charlotte admitted that she remembered once he grabbed her wrist when she started to walk away from him. The DVPO was filed on that basis, and Charlotte was told that she would have at least 30 days to vacate.

When the DVPO was not continued in court (i.e., there was a finding of no civil liability for grabbing a wrist), Charlotte was again given 24 hours to leave. That was a mere 10 days after the filing of the DVPO.

Victoria was promised that she could file a DVPO but that "we will not file charges against your husband." When she asked if that meant no charges would be filed, the shelter worker told her, "You are the victim. Nothing can be done without your cooperation." Of course, days later the District Attorney filed criminal charges against her husband. Victoria was not told, of course, that neither the "victim" nor the women's shelter has control of when criminal charges are filed. Victoria was then left to defend spurious charges that she had invented in order to get "help," and had to leave the state to avoid having to perjure herself in a criminal court.

Time and again, women complain that women's shelter workers and police promise them that if they will file a DVPO, "the system" will always be there to help them. Other than an open door to continue attending "counseling meetings" or "community meetings," there really is no continuing assistance that is rendered beyond the DVPO hearing. This makes sense, since women's shelters are largely funded (at the federal level) based on the number of DVPO complaints that are filed annually. It is simply not cost-efficient to function as a long-term babysitter to women and children whose lives have experienced havoc at the hands of the Domestic Violence Industry. Increases in federal funding only occur when "domestic violence" is shown to be an out of control problem in the community in which the shelter is housed - and this is proven primarily by an escalating number of DVPO filings each year.

Angie said, "I have made a full-time job out of trying to get child support from my ex-husband. They promised that if I filed an order against him, they would always be there to help me and my children, but nobody cares. I pay lawyers and they don't care either. I feel like I was manipulated. I wish I had just separated and seen if he [my ex-husband] could change, but they don't give you any option except filing an order. If I had to do it over again, I would not have gone to the community meetings."

Amy P. said, "They didn't care anything about me and my kids. Here I was with four kids and trying to just get some space to think. When I said I wouldn't file an order, they moved on to the next 'client.'"

But being lied and treated with smug indifference is likely to be the very least of your troubles at a women's shelter.

* A 26-year old shelter worker had sex with a 12-year old boy on a playground in Arizona.

* Young boys become the whipping boys of the man-hating shelter workers, and adolescent males are often denied admission at all.

* In successive weeks at one Florida "SafeSpace" Shelter, a child was negligently killed by a car and a pregnant resident was stabbed to death by another resident.

* At a different Florida shelter, the shelter director was charged with giving alcohol to minors and the driver of the shelter van failed a sobriety test.

* Sexual abuse of children is a common occurrence in some shelters.

* Drug consumption is common in women's shelters.

* Teenagers and other adults are sometimes forcibly "volunteered" to women's shelters to work off community service time. These folks may be watching your kids.

* Lesbian shelter workers have been known to "cruise" women's shelters for companionship.

In fact, one letter, reproduced by Carey Roberts, Ph.D., states (in part):

To: Health and Human Services, United Way of the National Capitol Area, National Organization for Women, Feminist Majority, et alia,

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have been a volunteer worker at Bethany House of Northern Virginia, 5901 Leesburg Pike, Falls Church, Virginia, a private non-profit so called battered women's shelter. I wish to remain anonymous for fear of personal and professional reprisals by my co-workers and the Bethany House staff.

In my experience working at the shelter I am appalled and outraged by what is really going on at Bethany House of Northern Virginia (BHNV). To put it bluntly, it is for most part nothing more than a "one stop divorce shop for emotional and bored housewives who want a change of life".

It is also largely used as a free hostel for women with emotional problems if they are willing to hate their husbands enough and are willing to take out protective orders against their husbands. Women who follow BHNV's agenda are guaranteed residency at the shelter for up to 7 months. All of this in the name of a Battered Women's shelter is sickening to disgust.

From my observations, the goal of Bethany House is to get bored and emotional housewives to leave their marital home after infuriating them with a heavy dose of husband bashing, anti-male talk, patriarchy, and negative motivation. This is carefully planned and executed by the Bethany House staff and volunteers. Simple tasks as cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of children are explained to the housewives as abusive and demeaning tasks forced upon them by their spouses.

At one DV shelter, fewer than 15% of "clients" showed any signs of physical abuse. Many DV shelters admit that they do not even consider whether there are any signs of physical abuse.

This is a chance for the victim advocate to evaluate their situation (we do NOT require proof of abuse) and determine if the Crisis Center is the right place for them. Our goal is to provide emergency shelter for victims in immediate need.

Note that those who apply to a "victim advocate" are "victims in immediate need" regardless of any "proof of abuse."

Be careful not to get on the wrong side of the shelter workers. If you appear to be a strong, confident woman, you may be denied entrance. And if you complain too much about a roommate, you and your infant may be released onto the streets with no further questions allowed.

Women's shelters will promise you safety, understanding, support, and sensitive care. How could they do anything else? After all, you are a "victim." But don't kid yourself. These are doctrinaire, manhating feminists in pursuit of federal funds who are going to forget you as soon as your free ride is up, if you make it that far, and may turn you out completely if you happen to not see the world the same way that they do.

You and your children stand a better chance of avoiding abuse living with that oaf of a husband you've got than spending even one night in a women's shelter. If the drug culture, lesbian culture, and child abuse don't sound appealing, maybe it is time to return to the strategies that your mom and grandma used for success in life.

Remember, they didn't have the "abuse excuse" to fall back on? So they just stayed put and worked on their marriages. Like you promised to do: "For better for worse, in sickness and in health."

For additional information, view a four-part video series on Women's Shelters at Opposing Feminism.

Tactics of Women's Shelters 2

Every woman that I have talked to that has attended the monthly meetings held by most women's shelters (alternately called "Support Meetings," "Community Outreach," or something equally as drab and nondescript) agrees that one of the primary subtexts of such meetings is how to catch your man in acts of domestic violence.

Now think about that.

Based on what Joe and Josephine Sixpack on the street consider to be "domestic violence," there would hardly be any need to manipulate circumstances or do anything to "catch" your man in acts of DV, would there? I mean, consequent to DV there are bruises, and broken bones, and burning beds - oh, wait, maybe the burning beds go in the other direction, but you get the idea.

But it is a point worth noting: if "domestic violence" bears any sane relation to the connotation that most of us carry around in our heads, then it is certainly a good portion of overkill to attempt to "catch" someone in such acts, as the injuries large and small will be evidence enough, thank you.

Again, this is a clue that what is going on inside of women's shelters is not exactly what the carefully coiffed image presented to the public might suggest.

So let's delve into the question - what exactly is "Domestic Violence" (DV)?

I have said many times that "Domestic Violence" as a legal concept is not real - it is no more real than the idea of a "widget" is in economics. In fact, DV is to law exactly what the widget is to economics - a catch-all abstraction into which we can fit any conceivable thing, and therefore which represents nothing. Now, don't get me wrong, as a legal concept, assault is real and battery is real, but "domestic violence" is not real, as we will demonstrate below.

Family law attorney Lisa Scott says of "Domestic Violence":

"Domestic violence has become whatever the man does that the woman doesn't like. Finding out she is having an affair and demanding she stop is seen as 'abuse.' This often triggers the woman to file for a restraining order, where no real evidence is required. In my 18 years of family law practice, I have seen this pattern occur over and over."

Think about that: a woman who is a lawyer, who has practiced family law for 18 years says that the real definition of DV, as it is actually applied in real court cases is "whatever a man does that the woman doesn't like."

She couldn't possibly be telling the truth.

At the University of Virginia's Women's Center for Sexual and Domestic Violence Services (hereinafter UVSDS), "Domestic Violence" is defined as

A pattern of physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abusive behaviors used by one individual to maintain power over or control a partner in the context of an intimate or family relationship.

So we see that the definition of DV revolves around physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. So tell me, what is "abuse?"

Is it like the Supreme Court says about porn, "I know it when I see it?"

Actually, at least that standard has the benefit of some minor objectivity. Again and again, those who have attended these "Community Support" meetings hosted by women's shelters have declared that they were told that abuse was "anything that makes them feel abused." And that is thoroughly consistent with the subjective definition of abuse urged by UVSDS:

Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.

So if I feel scared, or hurt, or put down, it is because someone has abused me. Because obviously, people - especially hormonal women - are always in control of their emotions and never "feel" anything that is not justified. And of course, nobody would ever go into court and testify on the stand that they "felt" scared just as a means of getting their way, would they?

But of course they would. Because women's shelters teach them to do just that.

It has everything to do with changes in the Violence Against Women Act enacted during the administration of Bill Clinton, in which the standard of evidence for obtaining a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO) was lowered to the most ridiculously low standard in the history of jurisprudence (other than, perhaps, "Thus saith the King..."). Consequent to changes in VAWA enacted in the 1990s, a DVPO can now be obtained in the U.S. under the outrageous standard of "the subjective fear of the woman."

So it is apparent why an honest female attorney who practices family law, and sees these cases day after day, would say that when "domestic violence" is alleged, "no real evidence is required."

But exploring the UVSDS site further, we are told that some things are objectively either suggestive of an abusive relationship or are abusive themselves. Things like:

• Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
• Put down your accomplishments or goals?
• Call you names?
• Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
• Hit walls, throw things, try to scare you?
• Tell you that you are nothing without them?
• Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
• Act jealous...?
• Deny your feelings?

Notice that nothing on this list is even remotely related to violence. But everything on this list sounds like it was compiled by a 16-year old girl whose neurosis had finally overcome whatever reason she once had. It is an excellent list if your goal is to make male-female relationships illegal on their face (or parent-child, or employer-employee, or any relationship), or if your ultimate goal was simply to motivate women to leave men on any pretense and fortify them for such a move by criminalizing the very ability to exist as a man as a means of transferring wealth, en bloc, to women. And, in fact, the only solution proposed by UVSDS for this type of "abuse" is...

The information provided here is designed to empower both survivors and their significant others in making decisions about their lives, in breaking free of an abusive relationship, and finding the support they need to get to a place of healing.

So, the "abuse" of "denying a woman's feelings" is a situation so heinous that the only possible solution is the abandonment of a relationship, ripping a father from his kids, sending a "feelings-denier" into the pen with gangstas, murderers, and cannibals, and transferring all imaginable assets to the woman - no doubt in an attempt to help her "get to a place of healing."

The odd thing, of course (and you will find that in feminist jurisprudence there is always an "odd thing") is that one of the signs of abuse is "Blam[ing] you for how they [the male] feel or act?"

Now wait a minute. If a woman blames me for how she feels or acts, ("I am abused because he denies my feelings."), then I, the man, have committed Domestic Violence. But if I, the man, blame a woman for how I feel or act, then I, the man, have committed Domestic Violence?

And at the end of the day, it is, in fact, the "feelings" of a woman that determines whether she has been abused, not whether a man has actually done something to her.

Do you...?
* Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
* Feel like, no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?

And note that, at the bottom of the page linked above, readers are encouraged to call the UVSDS, because otherwise, "the abuse will continue." So obviously, all of this nonsense is, in the mind of those who run UVSDS (and why what these femtards believe is significant is described below), actually abuse.

But thankfully, the UVSDS does give us some inkling as to what can objectively be considered to be "domestic violence." Unfortunately, most of it doesn't have any relationship to actual violence. A "healthy relationship," ostensibly one in which abuse is not occurring, has (in part) the following characteristics:

* Equal decision making power.
* Neither partner restricts the other to gender roles.

Now note - if you are an evangelical Christian, a conservative Catholic, a Muslim, or just someone who believes the family ought to function like old episodes of Leave it to Beaver, with nothing else added you are involved in an abusive relationship. To simply believe in rigid gender roles, to believe that the male ought to be the leader in the home, is an act of abuse.

* Sharing of thoughts and ideas.
* Opinions of each partner are valued equally.
* Partners use respectful language and gestures, even in disagreement.

So if a man suggests that reason is superior to a hormonal bout of irrationality in which his wife is indulging, he is abusive. If a man, to avoid a fight, refuses to allow the "sharing of thoughts and ideas" to escalate by simply turning and walking away, he is abusive. If he stays and argues as the "sharing of thoughts and ideas" escalates, and points, or waves his hands, or yells in order to be heard, he is abusive.

In fact, in one proceeding, a female alleged abuse based on the male pointing at her (which made her "feel scared, like he was going to hit me") and reading the Bible to her. And for good measure, she threw in, "He's tall. About 6'2. And he lifts weights." And in response to the attorney's question, "And how did that make you feel?", she answered, "Very frightened."

* Both partners accept the validity of each others' feelings.
* Partners are emotionally supportive and caring.
* Safe sharing of fears or insecurities.

So any man (and this does NOT run both ways - in the history of DV hearings, no man has ever alleged that a woman was being violent because she did not "accept the validity of his feelings") who says, "I hear you say you are angry. But there is no reason for you to feel that way, and here's why..." is guilty of "domestic violence."

Feeling better about "domestic violence," now? Are you comfortable that men are in jail right now for violating these irrational, neurotic precepts authored by bedwetting whiny adolescents in Women's Studies departments?

But wait, you say, most "domestic violence" proceedings revolve around actual violence. Broken teeth. Bruises. Chaining someone up in the closet.

False. Because if anyone ever broke someone's teeth, they would be charged with assault and battery. If they ever chained someone up in the closet, they would be charged with false imprisonment.

Sometimes it is true that a DVPO hearing is paired with an actual criminal proceeding such as an assault charge. But the vast majority of DVPO hearings are based on the DVPO complaint alone. And in my time, I have witnessed over 100 DVPO hearings, and only one actually alleged anything that would be considered "violence" by the average guy on the street.

The rest of them were based on the kinds of neurotic nonsense described above.

And all but one of the DVPO orders were continued - and as you remember from the first post in this series, "continuation" is a finding of quasi-criminal liability in a DVPO hearing.

In the vast majority of the cases that I have personally witnessed, at issue was whether a man was "controlling" or trying to be "controlling" toward a woman.

Of course, the issue of being a "controlling man" is ultimately only an issue of whether a man cedes control to a woman.

But wait!, you object again. These are the neurotic beliefs of a bunch of man-hating, bedwetting, Maoist lesbians! Ultimately, judges don't fall for this neuro-prissy nonsense!

If only you were right. Remember up above when I promised to let you know why the beliefs of these man-hating, bedwetting, Maoist lesbians were so important? It is because though the law often requires an actual act of violence in state enactments of VAWA, the law is interpreted through the lens of judicial education seminars (and attorney continuing education) run by... wanna guess?

The man-hating, bedwetting, Maoist lesbians who run women's shelters, of course. So the shrill neurotic whining that is found on the UVSDS website, though it is not law, has the force of law because judges are trained to find "domestic violence" based on the ideas propogated by women's shelters!

Every single woman that I have interviewed who has been inside a woman's shelter has stated that women are encouraged to allege that actual physical violence has occurred. An allegation like this ensures a slam-dunk. But if a woman maintains that such violence never has occurred, then they are taught that there are "many kinds of violence" and are taken through a checklist filled with statements and questions like those above. If a woman maintains that a man has ever "denied her feelings" or "felt scared of how her partner might act" or "not shared feelings and ideas" or "believed in Biblical gender roles," she has been abused and her husband is an abuser.

Step two in the process, after convincing a woman who has lived with an Average Joe for 20 years that she has been abused, is attempting to help her gather evidence of such abuse.

This explains why most of the time, allegations of "domestic violence" occur weeks or months after a woman first enters a "Community Support Meeting." Because next on the agenda is a series of manipulations and tactics that are designed to produce actions on the part of the man that are admissible as acts of abuse in court.

Look for a discussion of these in the third entry in this series.

View a four-part video series on Women's Shelters at Opposing Feminism.

Tactics of Women's Shelters 1

The role of women's shelters, in my state, is considered so important that their tactics cannot be discussed in a courtroom.

This is your first clue that something is up, and it probably isn't kosher.

I've been talking to women, in both formal and informal contexts, for a period of about five years about what goes on in women's shelters. All of the women that I have talked to have been on the inside of the shelters, and all of them have signed confidentiality agreements. So I will refer to them with alternate names on the remote chance that there might be liability involved for them. But they all agree on the essentials of what happens, and what happens is, quite frankly, both frightening, and is evidence of the fact that women's shelters have very little to do with protecting women, and are rather local fortresses for the war against men and the family.

I post the following for a variety of reasons. First, I think that men need to be sensitized to watch out for the behaviors discussed below, and should be forewarned as to the potential significance of the behaviors. Secondly, most people who support women's shelters with financial or in-kind contributions believe that the places simply exist to protect women - they have no idea what is actually going on inside. Hopefully, knowledge of what is really going on will go a long way toward helping private individuals and organizations - especially churches! - to reconsider their support for such radical, anti-family hate organizations.

Thirdly, evil loves a cloak of secrecy. Turn on the lights, and the roaches scatter.

Elizabeth F. gives a basic overview of what happens when a woman shows up at a woman's shelter. "I was told that I could stay for 24 hours, no questions asked. But if I was going to take advantage of the programs offered at the shelter or if I was going to stay longer than 24 hours, I had to file a Domestic Violence Protective Order" (DVPO) against her intimate partner.

Angie G. tells that there were several instances in which the police were actually brought into the shelter to "help" a woman fill out a DVPO "adequately." A responding officer, a detective, and the head of the sex crimes unit all came in with the "leader" of the women's shelter to "help" women fill out the DVPO for maximum impact.

Now, a few notes about DVPOs. A DVPO hearing is what one law professor has called a "quasi-criminal hearing." It is not criminal because, to have been found liable for "domestic violence" in a DVPO hearing does not result in a criminal conviction, nor even criminal charges being filed. However, the following things either normally happen or routinely happen when a DVPO is "continued." A "continuation" is a finding of liability that would be the equivalent of "guilt" in a criminal proceeding.

* For one year (or longer in some states), the person found to have committed "domestic violence" loses their Second Amendment right to bear arms.

* The person found to have committed "domestic violence" is generally immediately removed by governmental force from his home.

* The person will immediately lose custody of his children, and the fact of a DVPO will be a central finding in any custody hearings which follow.

* His paycheck may be taxed for alimony and child support without even so much as an initial hearing. Further, rest assured that a finding of liability for "domestic violence" will be a consideration of many courts in asset division, permanent alimony rulings, and permanent custody hearings.

* In my state, a DVPO that is "continued" can be used, on its face, as evidence upon which the police may base criminal charges.

Think about that. Think long and hard about that. A woman comes into a women's shelter with a desire to have some privacy for a few days. She is informed that, unless she makes allegations against her husband/intimate partner, she must leave first thing in the morning. The police investigators are summoned to help her fill out a DVPO complaint in such a way that it will "pass muster" in a DVPO hearing. Consequent to the hearing, the DVPO is "continued." Now, the police use the complaint that they themselves have helped to fill out as the sole basis for the filing of criminal charges.

One must assume that people who work in "Domestic Violence Units" or "Sex Crimes Units" would be peculiarly adept at recording evidence - or allegations - in such a way as to maximize the possibility of criminal conviction, no? It is a vicious cycle in which (in some cases certainly, and in every case potentially) the police help form the very allegations upon which charges will eventually be based.

And in fact, my own personal experience (which is certainly not exhaustive, but I have no reason to believe that it is abnormal, either) bears this out. I have witnessed over 100 DVPO hearings in approximately five years. Only once has anything been alleged that the man on the street would recognize as "violence." Yet only once in that 100+ hearings has a man failed to have his DVPO "continued" against him.

This would all be bad enough if women's shelters were merely passive organizations that waited for the abused to wander in to assist them. In fact, this is not the case. Women's shelters recruit heavily. I have personally seen stacks of business cards, posters announcing local organizations, schedules for local meetings, and placards bearing state hotlines in courthouses (conveniently hanging over the ubiquitous free forms to file for separation, divorce, custody, and of course, DVPOs), doctor's offices, the local free clinic, the Deparment of Social Services, universities, and even local gas stations.

My wife and I saw a poster which depicted a barefooted woman walking on the beach with her back turned to the camera, dressed all in white, holding a transparent white shawl above her head with both hands thrust in the air in a sign of victory, with a caption that read: "Need a new start? The State of _________'s Office of the Attorney General can help you relocate without a trace with your children if you have been the victim of domestic violence. Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx for more information."

These publicly-advertised meetings are not necessarily what you would think.

The average person seeing these posters saying, "Call xxx-xxxx for information on our next meeting" would undoubtedly assume that the meetings were to help women who were suffering from abuse to find a way out.

Yet Angie G., Elizabeth F., and Amy P. all agree that dealing with actual "violence" is only a subtext at such meetings.

Angie G. says, an unnamed woman "came in September and just sat through the meeting. She was asked if she had ever been abused, and she said, 'I feel emotionally abused by my husband.' She didn't really say much more. Everybody else said their piece, and the counselors continually reminded them that phrasing their story in certain ways was important to a finding of domestic violence in court. They made these recommendations even for the women who had already gotten their DVPOs continued. Every once in a while, they would get back to the new, 'emotionally abused' woman. One time the counselor even said to her, 'See how it's done?' When the 'emotionally abused' woman came back in October, she had this whole story about how she was being beaten, controlled, accused, and everything." [Emphasis added]

When I asked Angie G. if she had been encouraged to lie, she said, "No, not so much lie. The counselors and police are very adamant that you take things [that happened to you] in the most negative way possible." It is not so much lying as not giving anybody the benefit of the doubt. If it can be construed in a negative manner, then it becomes part of my complaint.

However, Amy P. states clearly, "When I said that I didn't have any physical abuse at all - I just wanted to be done with a cheating husband - they coached me on what to say."

Every woman that I have talked to on this subject agrees that one of the primary topics of discussion in these locally-advertised "meetings" is how to catch your man at domestic violence.

That will be the subject of the next entry.

View a four-part video series on Women's Shelters at Opposing Feminism.