Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Women Don't Lie About Rape Chapter 5997 - Worthless Whores

In the world of prostitution (so I hear – I have never knowingly been in the presence of any prostitutes other than Democrat politicians) there is a sharp dividing line between streetwalkers, viewed as the bottom-feeders in the world of whoredom, and escorts, who command large fees, are viewed as being largely “clean,” and who often serve/service a top-line clientele (such as the Attorney Generals and Governors of various states).

I am thinking that a new category is going to have to be created.

Now, I don’t smoke, so I stand open to correction. But it is my considered opinion that a pack of cigarettes can generally be obtained for anywhere from $3 to maybe $7 tops.

Now again, I don’t frequent hookers, but at least from watching movies, I am guessing that the sort of bottom-line ballpark price for a streetwalking hooker is in the realm of $20. Based on my movie observations, one can expect either significant upselling to take place from there or can expect to be murdered by a sociopathic whore for the price of a mere $20. Again, I welcome any corrections in this regard.

Two Tennessee women recently were arrested for filing false rape charges against a man whom they had agreed to, ummmmmmmm, service, for a paltry fee of one pack of cigarettes.

I thought all the chicks in Tennessee smoked corn-cob pipes! Why, then, do they need to engage in “sexy time” for Marlboros?

So anyway, more about my proposed tripartite division of the hooker genre: I am for keeping the terminology already in use, the “escorts” can be young, fresh, talented, high-class pleasurers of the rich and famous while the “streetwalkers” can be those whose vocabulary has yet to progress beyond, “Need a date, Sugar?”

But then what do we do with the hookers who screw for a $3 pack of smokes?

Well, for one, we load up on antibiotics…. I mean… well, the way I see it, the $20 whore is cheap, so we can’t really call these cigarette whores cheap, can we? I mean, they are whores for sure, but what is of a lower value than cheap?


So I propose a new category for whores who can’t even garner the regular $20 fee and have to screw for packs of cigarettes or packages of bacon or books of stamps or what have you. So, from here on out, the term “worthless whore” will be used to refer to our protagonists.

So 18 year old Jessica Kathleen Alexander and 29 year old Tammy Nicole Ortega were flirting (or, based on their pictures, belching) with a guy on one of those telephone flirt lines. And maybe the guy says something like, “You chicks sound really hot, but I gotta go smoke a Camel.” Perhaps one of the worthless whores then responded, “We are so broke right now we can’t even afford tobacco [pronounced “backer” in Tennessee] for our corn-cob pipes. How about if the two of us bang you for a while and then you give us a pack of them there Camels?”

You'd have to pay ME, and not in cigarettes!

Contracts in Tennessee, it turns out, often are bereft of certain necessary legal language….

Well, who wouldn’t be up for that kind of a deal? Three dollars in smokes - why that works out to only a dollar and a half per whore! What a bargain!

Actually, though, based on their pictures, I think I would have insisted that they each give ME a pack of cigarettes. And again – I don’t smoke!

Now the story really gets interesting (!). Turns out our intrepid dude wasn’t a very good lay. Apparently our worthless whores were disappointed in his, uhhhhh, performance.

This is where a clause demanding a multiple-hour foray into sexual misadventure could have easily been inserted into the contract by a competent lawyer, by the way.

So the worthless whores gathered up their panties (which were undoubtedly in a wad, based on the events which follow), their cigarettes, and their disappointment, and they run off to the police station!

What?, you ask, the worthless whores ran off to the police station?

Indeedy. Truth being stranger than fiction, they ran off to the cops and….

Now, before we finish that sentence, let me go ahead and admit that I truly understand that women do not lie about rape. I am well aware of the fact that Susan Estritch once noted that the primary accomplishment of feminism was to have removed all suspicion that women might not tell the truth about such a thing from the collective mind of the legal system. I am not, after all, a barbarian. I get that women are victims of a patriarchal society by virtue of their mere existence within it, and I get that women are continually re-victimized, both by the system and by their own feelings of guilt and shame. I get all that. So, let that be the prism through which the following statement is interpreted….

The worthless whores ran off and lied to the cops, claiming to have been raped.

Why did they make such a claim? According to a Washington County Sheriff’s department press release, because they “didn’t enjoy the sex.”

Now, don’t get me wrong – I know that women do not lie about sex. I know that the social cost of being a victim is so high that women never lie about rape, sexual harassment, domestic violence, or abuse. I know that, when a woman is getting divorced and is faced with the prospect of getting a job and supporting herself or living off of ex-hubby’s salary for a year or so, monetary gain and a year of ease is not enough to motivate her to lie! I know that, when a woman’s adultery and/or drug and alcohol abuse is revealed in court and she is about to lose custody of her kids (and the umpteen years of child support payments that accompany them!), even the loss of kids (and child support) is not enough to motivate her to lie! I know that when a woman is passed over for a job promotion that she really wanted, with all of the money and prestige and “self-esteem” that goes along with it, she could never be persuaded to lie about sexual harassment. I know that women are never vindictive enough to lie about sex – that their anger and instability could never be so intense as to motivate them to simply seek to destroy what they cannot control! No, women are not like that. Women would not lie about sex when REALLY BIG matters like thousands of dollars in child support and alimony are at stake. They would not lie when REALLY BIG matters like custody are at stake. They would not lie when REALLY BIG matters like job promotions are at stake. I know this because feminists assure me that it is true.

But oddly enough, feminism seems to have fostered a culture in which women feel perfectly comfortable lying when REALLY SMALL matters (no pun intended) like whether or not you enjoyed sex with a stranger for a pack of cigarettes are at stake.

But wait… maybe I am wrong. Maybe the truth is that if we now live in a cultural climate in which false allegations are so much a part of the fabric of society that women feel comfortable lying about rape, violence, sex, and abuse when only small matters are at stake, could they feel doubly comfortable in lying when really important matters are at stake as well…?

Or maybe feminists would have us to believe that we have a society in which women can feel comfortable lying over a dime, but in which they blush to lie over a dollar?

It appears to me that, with the story of the two Tennessee worthless whores, we now possess objective proof that the false allegation is the tool of choice for any woman in Western culture to solve any problem, no matter how big… or small.

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